Baby, I'm Back!
Congratulations in finding my new website! I know this has been more difficult than finding our old friend Baldo. But you did it. Give yourself a cigar.
NEWS!
Happy Independence Day everyone!
Celebrate with the US Bikini team!
You can also celebrate the 4th by watching this new video version of "The Stars and Stripes Forever" by my good friends, the Muppets! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDA9NbPAK8o
There's no mystery as to the reason why Sarah Palin 
resigned as Governor of Alaska. She thought they said re-sign, not resign.
On Tuesday the Michael Jackson services will be held at the Staples Center and simulcast at the Nokia Theater next door while being broadcast by all 3 networks. On Wednesday the Karl Malden services will be held in a phone booth outside the Sherman Oaks Fashion Mall.
In Honduras under order of the Supreme Court and with the blessing of congress and the support of the people, the Army deposed Honduran President Zelaya after he illegally tried to extend his term past the constitutional limits and illegally hold a referendum on this move with ballots he had to have printed outside the country. So who does President Obama and Secretary of State Clinton side with? That's right, the union backed President Zelaya.
Rachel Hunter got dumped by her fiance Jarrett Stoll by e-mail. E-mail. He didn't do it in person because for some reason he just couldn't look her in the eyes. 
The Motion Picture Academy has announced they are expanding the "Best Picture" catagory to 10 films instead of 5. If only these rules had been in effect when they released "Booty Call".
South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford told reporters he had gone to Argentina to spend time with a beautiful Argentine woman but the fact is she spent all her time with me 
while Sanford whined and mumbled and stood around outside my villa the whole time. He was too embarrassed to tell them the truth.
At least Burger King didn't include their creepy Burger King in this pornographic ad for their new "Super Seven Incher". 
Seven inches! Don't they have a big one?
Consider yourself warned! This fall Rosie O'Donnell is getting a daily radio show! But don't panic. The chances of your accidentally running across it on the dial and driving your car into a ditch is unlikely thanks to the fact the show will only be on Sirius XM, pay radio.
President Obama just came up with a stimulus package for our favorite team, the struggling Chicago White Sox. It's called Kimberly. 
Yes!
Congratulations to the Penguins for winning the Stanley Cup!
Now they won't have to heist it!
Actually the people in Pittsburgh were so sure that Detroit would win the Cup that when the Penguins won, Pittsburgh was so surprised that they forgot to riot.
Barack Obama's half brother George is working on a book. George...
Sara Palin is also writing a book. Everybody made jokes about it, including me ("it'll be the best pop up book ever!"). However if the same jokes were made about George Obama, we'd be called racists and haters.
George...
I'm a big fan of Dave Letterman and slutty stewardesses 
for that matter, but c'mon. What do you think the reaction would have been if he'd compared Michelle Obama's look to that of a "slutty stewardess"? Or joked about Chelsea "My daughter is off limits" Clinton being raped and impregnated at age 14? Dave needs to stop having lunch with Keith Oberman and get back to being funny.
My TV has made the digital conversion and I now have 15 Spanish language channels, 12 Korean channels, 8 Japanese game show channels, 6 Thai channels, 4 I-can't-even-guess-what-language-they-are-speaking channels a channel that shows "Vietnamese Idol" and 3 Armenian dance channels. This is progress?
Chastity Bono has announced she is undergoing a sex change operation...as soon as she can determine what sex she is.
"Grasshopper, when you are found in a closet in Bangkok wearing a woman's wig hanging in a closet with your genitals tied to your neck, it is time for you to go."--Master Po 
Mi Amigo John Henson 
made his triumphant return to ABC-TV along with his hit show "Wipeout!" for season two! Watch it Wednesday nights if you want some good laughs. John also made a brief return appearance at E! Check it out at the Soup website!
Congrats also to my old friend Conan O'Brien for successfully transitioning to "The Tonight Show". I predict many laughs and much fun for all.
Be sure to go to artists-in-exile.com to check out their new Star Trek bit! My epic appearance is still in editing.
To the surprise of state legislators, Californians turned down Proposition 1a which would have extended the largest tax increase in state history for an two extra years. Legislators immediately went to plan B and announced an increase in fees. From now on overdue library books will cost $3,600 a day.
The "missing link" fossilized lemur monkey found outside of Frankfurt, Germany turns out not to be a missing link to humans but merely a missing link to Al Franken.
Here's a missing link more to my liking: http://www.screenjunkies.com/movienews/10-classic-topless-scenes
Congrats to the atsronauts on the shuttle Atlantis for their successful repair of the Hubble telescope. The telescope now will be able to see to the edge of distant galaxies and the bottom of Scarlett Johansson's cleavage. 
After three months of Arlen Specter, the Democrats have asked the GOP about their return policy.
Alaska Governor Sarah Palin 
has announced she is writing a memoir that is scheduled to come out in the spring of 2010. Based on the early drafts, word is this is going to be "the best pop-up book ever".
Manny Ramierez of the Dodgers has been suspended for 50 games for using a drug called HCG. The drug is not a steroid. HCG is generally prescribed as a fertility drug for women. Apparently Manny is undergoing a sex change and hopes to become the first female player in MLB, Mary Rodriguez.
The big Revlon Run/Walk to fight women's cancers is over for another year, but its NOT too late for you to contribute!
Please go to this link for my old "Talk Soup" handler Jeff Zimmer and make a donation, even if its only $10, $20 or $350,000. I am Senor Sock, do as I say. https://www.revlonrunwalk.com/la/secure/MyWebPage.cfm?pID=481270&CFID=1219744&CFToken=51f63140394e81ac-35486954-65BF-7879-B4547A51C72FA52D
Incidentally Jeff finished in 3,467th place out of 27,738.
I just recently finished principle photography on a puppet epic for that same website. 
Look for it during sweeps month!
Supreme Court Justice David Souter has decided he agrees with conservatives who think he would be happier back in New Hampshire and has announced he will be leaving the court this summer. President Obama wants to appoint a woman to replace him. Former President Clinton is pushing for Judge Babe. 
I met her in night court! Yes!
Scientists have traced the swine flu back to actor Arnold Ziffel. 
Apparently he got it from actress Lindsey Lohan.
Possible body double: Chicago Bulls Center Brad Miller 
and "24" bad guy Tony Almeida ? 
"In Plain Sight" just started their new season on USA. Be sure to check it out and look for co-star Nichole Hiltz, 
who is anything but plain!
Hackers hacked in to the Air Force computer system to look at plans for the new $300 billion dollar Joint Fighter Project. Fortunately they were not our nations enemies, but a couple of potheads who were worried this was some sort of new anti-drug campaign.
However if you see anyone in your neighborhood driving what appears to be a $300 billion Joint Fighter, please call the air force right away.
Spotted in church last Sunday was Kristen Dunst. 
She was there with her family. Why she was spotted is anyone's guess. Not sure she's entirely over her problems just yet. When she went up to take communion she asked for a double.
The Obamas have been looking for a rescue dog to adopt since election night. They finally found one: a 6 month old Portugese water dog named Bo.
The Obamas rescued Bo from a poor family in Massachusetts named Kennedy.
President Obama explained the kids would have had a dog a lot sooner but his first three choices had tax problems.
Are you ready for some football? 
The LFL--Lingerie Football League is ready to play! Interesting league. There's no penalty for holding!
John Henson is not just getting the laughs on "Wipeout!" he's also creating some very funny videos for Youtube. Check out the latest: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59VsXSnmyfU Tell them the Sock sent ya!
An arrest warrant has been issued for Lindsay Lohan. But don't worry. Take it from me, she enjoys 
wearing handcuffs!
My old friend Jerry Springer is currently starring in the musical "Chicago" in London's West End. Judging by this picture 
the east end is as nice as the west end! Yes!
At my favorite restaurant, its always a good idea to order a number 13. 
Shares of the New York Times are now selling for less than the cost of a Sunday New York Times. And are worth less.
In times of economic woes like these, its good to know that one can still start a successful business if one is just able to identify a consumer need and fufill it. How else can one explain kittywigs.com?
At this website one can order custom made wigs for one's cat. If that doesn't get America out of recession, I don't know what will. Use that stimulus package wisely! Better get that kittywig order in today! 
While I have NOT been a big supporter of Barack in the past, I thought about it and came up with my top ten reasons to like him.
10. Like me, he is a White Sox fan.
9. Like me, he often gets text messages from Scarlet Johansen. 
8. Like me, he sends a tingle up Chris Matthews' leg.
7. Like me, he cannot bowl to save his life. 
6. Like me, he had to get past Jack Ryan, ex-husband of Jeri Ryan. He did it to capture his Senate seat. I did it to capture Jeri's seat!
5. Like me, he has an eye for a fine lady when he sees one.
4. He really does have a nice smile. 
Kind of like the Cheshire Cat. 
3. Because he won, there were no riots or burning of cars.
2. Now that Barack is replacing Bush, Alec Baldwin and Barbara Streisand can finally return to this country.
1. He's NOT Hillary Clinton and now she almost certainly will NEVER be President 
(unless he REALLY screws up in the next four years!)
I forget...why wasn't I supporting him?
A jury has found "actor" Keanu Reeves not responsible for hitting a paparazzo with his car. No one on the jury could believe that Reeves actually had a hit.
Tim Allen is being sued for thousands of dollars over the script of "Wild Hogs". There was a script?
Shocking news! Almost 12 years since we kind of adopted it as a punchline on "Talk Soup", the Miller brewing company has announced they were discontinuing production of Zima! Although they have stopped production, Miller expects supplies to last until December...of 2150.
Speaking of the Soup, fans will remember Bridget Oberlin as the girl who got hit in the face with a pie in one of my E! specials. Now she can be heard on the internet radio show Static Beach. 
Check her out at http://www.staticbeach.com/static-beach/index.php
Seth Rogan has announced he will turn down "Ghostbusters III" if he is not impressed by the script. Judging by "Pineapple Express" that is a pretty low threshold.
Madonna 
and her husband, director Guy Ritchie have reached a divorce agreement. Ritchie will get a settlement of $34 million in cash and properties totalling up to $60 million. So in 8 years of marriage, Guy earned $7.5 million a year to be with Madonna. I spent a weekend with Madonna once. Ritchie was short changed.
Actually at those rates, after that one weekend we had I think Madonna owes me $144,230.77.
It's been over 100 years since the Chicago Cubs won a world series. Trivia question: Who was the Cubs' radio announcer during their last World Series championship? Answer: No one. Radio had not yet been invented.
Congrats to former "Talk Soup" star John Henson whose new show "Wipeout!" was the hit of the summer and has been picked up for another season of shows by ABC! Yes!
Took a peek at EBay to find autographed photos of John Henson
selling for $25, autographed photos of Aisha Tyler for $20 
and autographed photos of Hal Sparks are $9.99...only he has no bidders. On her E! Reality Show, "Denise Richards: It's Complicated" Denise 
said she liked "really big _ocks". Obviously the missing letter is an "s".
NASA has discovered ice on Mars. 
Excellent news! Now if they could discover some tequilla and some cocktail waitresses! 
Yes!
Fresh from his success in the film "Baby Mama", my old friend Greg Kinnear has signed to do the "Bazooka Joe" movie. He will play Bazooka Joe's good friend, Mort. 
I smell Oscar!
Actress and Uberbabe Angelina Jolie
visited Bagdad to draw attention to the plight of Iraqi refugees and their terrible lack of spandex.
Rosie O'Donnell says she's "Not sorry" about leaving "The View". So I guess that makes it unanimous.
Ivanka Trump shows off the Trumps latest development. 
The Trump Towers.
Angelina Jolie may sue her Cambodian charities for misappropriating her donations of millions of dollars. Jolie wanted the money to go to community development. In a simple misunderstanding, instead the Cambodians spent it on corndogs, Fanta and "Phat Beach" DVDs. Obviously there must have been a problem in the translation.
--More good news! Technicians have found a way back into Senor Sock's Official Web Site (go.to/senor_sock) so I can once again update it! For now, I will continue to run both sites for your entertainment pleasure.
Please Enjoy Your Stay.
If you like, you can just stare at this page for hours. I am sure the fine people at Bravenet will not mind. If you wish to read some of my old reviews, or see the cool pictures just click here: go.to/senor_sock
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